Yesterday, I visited my house together with our housemaid and did some cleaning as it's been months that I was not able to visit the place.. While helping in the cleaning of the rooms as the maid was busy outside fixing and removing grasses in the simple garden around the house, I heard her saying (in the local dialect) "I pity the owner of this house for she never tried to stay in this place and how i wish someone would take her heart for her to be happy and i will still be willing to serve her.." I paused for a while watching her through the glass windows, pulling unwanted grasses around the ornamental plants, smiled at her and said that's really my wish too and turned my back as my tears about to fall from my eyes.. we reached home late already and since i could hardly fall asleep, i continued watching the movie of Jennifer Love Hewitt entitled "If Only" (which i was able to watch the first part last 6 February) and as i was watching it made me cry again..lately, i've been trying to compose myself as i have a very significant decision to make in my life and as advised by my parents, brothers and sisters and closed friends - i will pursue where i believe i would be happy! Yes, IF ONLY it is so easy that i could do and express all what's inside my heart then i would not be crying everytime I pray to God..I am very sorry for I should not feel this way..I must always believe in You and You know what's best for me!
